When I was 13, my dad sat me down. He said “Son, very soon you’re going to start liking girls and I want to teach you some rules about women”.
Now, my dad had up to that point raised me, generally, to have manners. How to speak in polite company, how to use good table etiquette, how to respond correctly in various social situations that require some social grace – that sort of thing.
And when it came to the opposite sex, he raised me to be a gentleman. He taught me to open doors for women, to walk behind them on the way to a restaurant table, to take the curbside when walking down the street.
Old fashioned polite gentlemanly values.
I should also point out that I grew up in the age of “women’s liberation” – when more women were entering the workplace than ever before and women wanted equal pay for equal work and there were organizations springing up that centered around women’s issues and empowerment. I remember mom having some books around the house on the topic and she attended some women-only empowerment meetings.
In other words, there was also a “cultural context” biased towards an almost militant demand that society and men should recognize women as equals.
So it was in that cultural / societal context – and my personal history of “gentlemanly manners training” from my dad – that my dad sits me down to “teach me what I need to know about women”.
And here’s what he said:
“Son, there’s three things I want to teach you about women: first, keep your nails short. Women pay attention to hygiene. I know you don’t care if you’ve got dirt under your overgrown fingernails, but women care about that kind of thing”.
Frankly it took me a few more years to fully appreciate the wisdom of his advice.
“Second”, he continued, “never call them by name. Always call them “honey, baby, sweetie” or something like that”. He paused, and I suppose that my furrowed brow and blank stare belied my lack of understanding.
He continued: “you see, at some point you’re going to be dating more than one woman, or even have a couple of girlfriends. If you screw up and call Suzy Mary or call Mary Liz, you’re going to have one helluva bad time on your hands. You can prevent all of that just by never calling them by name and you’ll stay out of trouble”.
I was starting to wonder if my dad was just poking fun at me. He did that a lot. He’d try to get me to believe some kind of outlandish crap and then would laugh hysterically if I bought his story. I was looking for any of the tell-tale signs on his face that he might be just messing with my head.
“Uh-huh” I said “what’s the third thing” still not sure if he was joking or not.
“The third and most important thing” he continued “and you’re might have a hard time believing this, but women will get down on their hands and knees and beg you to treat them like shit”.
Now I was really looking at his face for his “I’m just messin’ with your head” grin. But he still looked serious.
“I know this sounds weird, but if you treat women well they’ll walk all over you. But if you treat them like shit they’ll get down on their knees and beg for more”.
In my head I was trying to reconcile this with how he’d raised me to be a gentleman, and the societal context and mood of the time with the whole women’s lib thing. I just couldn’t imagine myself wanting to be treated like shit, so why would anyone – female or otherwise – not only tolerate being treated like shit, but actually “beg for more”?
Seemed like nonsense to me.
At that point my dad recapped his three points, and asked me if I understood. “Sure” I said, able to intellectually grasp the meaning of his words, but not quite sure what it all meant or even if he was still just playing with my head.
At that exact moment, I figured that his whole thing about treating women like shit had to mean that my dad had had some bad experiences with women, maybe gotten his heart badly broken a few times resulting in a bitterness which he generalized to feeling that women should be treated like shit.
I figured that if he was not just joking, then this was just his personally biased view based on bad experiences from his past.
As I grew older, I was able to see firsthand that women did indeed seem to defy logic in their behaviors. I saw chicks in school who seemed to fall for guys that weren’t good for them – one guy would give her gifts, buy her meals, and generally treat her well and she was bored to tears by this guy – and meanwhile a 2nd guy would sleep with her friends, crash her car and slap her around – but she was madly in love with that guy!
I started to see what my dad was talking about; it defied logic and reason, but there was no denying that bad boys were getting laid while good boys were not.
So, back to our question: should you treat women like shit? Will that strategy work? Should you be an “alpha-male caveman jerk”?
I’ll go first: I’m not convinced that any human being should be treated like shit. Will a ‘treat women like shit’ strategy work? My experience and observation is yes, it will work. But, should you be an alpha-male caveman jerk? I’m not so sure – it depends on what your goal is.
What kind of woman, do you suppose, is okay with being treated like shit? Likely a woman with low self esteem, right? So if you’re just looking for a woman you can have your way with and dump later, then treating that one like shit will work out just fine… sort of. I mean, you’ll probably get what you want, but you might get more than you bargain for if she turns psycho on you, or starts stalking you, or her brother or father decide they’re going to kick your ass after she goes crying to them about what you did to her.
And if you’re looking for more than to just get laid and you want to be in a relationship, I can tell you that you’ll quickly get tired of a woman that’s okay with being treated like a doormat. You’ll be frustrated and bored.
Bottom line: You simply won’t respect her, and by extension, you won’t respect yourself for being with someone you don’t respect.
So should you treat women like shit? That’s up to you. But here’s what I do advise:
Don’t be a freaking pussy. Don’t be a wimpy wet noodle of a man. Have some backbone. Act like a man, for god’s sake.
You may not have lived through the women’s movements like I did, and I can tell you that a lot of guys today who grew up after all that have swallowed a “vulnerable male” mentality that in essence strips you of your manhood.
Equal pay for equal work is one thing, but here in the U.S., things have gone waaay too politically correct to the point where supposedly “men and women are equal” and are “the same”.
Bullshit. Men and women are far for “the same”. Our brains work differently. We want different things from each other. We have different behaviors and tendencies. That’s an indisputable scientific fact of hormonal chemistry and brain function.
While I don’t advocate treating women like shit, I do advocate taking your testicles out of her purse and keeping them between your legs, permanently.
Stop being a pushover. Stop being a wimp. Stop being a freaking pussy.
So how do you stop wimping out and yet not treat women like shit?
By deciding what you will and will not put up with from women and sticking to that firmly. That way you get the best of both worlds: she’s going to be attracted to your masculinity and confidence, but you won’t get stuck with some doormat with zero self-esteem.
You need the confidence to act like a man. You are a man, so be one.
In my book “Super Confidence With Women” I outline a number of ways to get clear about what you will and will not put up with from women. I show you how to eliminate shyness and fear of rejection so you can go after and get the kind of woman you really want. I give you a step-by-step, proven and tested method to develop the kind of confidence with women that before you could only dream about.
Most guys settle for “what they can get”. That’s just plain sad. Why get stuck with some chick just because she’s the only woman you “think you can get”.
Sad, I tell ya!
If you need to get more confidence and you want to have more success with women, then you can find out more info about my book Super Confidence With Women here:
Anyway, while treating women like shit is ultimately your decision, I’m firmly demanding that you stop being a wimpy wussy already; Once and for all, it’s time to man up.